Five Tips to Get You Through Potty-Training
Potty training was one of the most horrific and traumatic experiences of my life. It ranks third after a one and only horse riding lesson fraught with accidents, and a scary flight to Mauritius when the announcement “brace,brace” went off due to a loudspeaker malfunction which caused fellow passengers to pray loudly. Fortunately, I survived these incidents without any lasting mental torment, even potty training and here are my tips on how I held it together – potty training that is, I don’t know how to land a plane safely or indeed ride a horse!
1) Choose your time wisely. Clear the diary. Don’t book holidays, long car journeys or unnecessary public transport trips. Treat the situation as if you have the world’s worst hangover and must remain in the house for three days exclusively – unfortunately no bed rest!
2) The power of preparation. Potty training is a military process, a bit like camping. Once you’ve decided on the date, there’s no going back. Stockpiling the necessary materials is as important as timing. Here’s a list of essentials to help you get ready:
Incontinence sheets – for the furniture and under the toddler bed sheets. If they don’t get used, keep them for messy play or home decorating;
Lots of packs of cheap and boring pants that you’re willing to throw away – you’ll be too busy rescuing the sofa and floor to be bothered with trowelling poo out of a pair of pants bought as part of a five-pack for less than a £1. You’re still saving money since you aren’t leaving the house for 3 days;
At least 2 potties depending on your house size – one stationed by the toilet and another you can carry around with you from room to room or store in the buggy;
A potty seat that fits on the loo – encourage them to use this if they get to the bathroom in time. The sooner they use it the sooner you can stop lobbing the potty contents down the toilet;
Wine, gin or lots of tea bags – whatever your favourite tipple you should buy it in when you see prize drop deals. These beverages will keep you from rocking in the corner in despair.
Sticker charts – no need to explain why these made the list,
Old clothes that are easy to remove – save up their messy play clothes that are otherwise destined for the bin.
3) Buy two types of pants – bin and fancy. You wouldn’t wear your best ‘date night’ pants immediately postpartum and the same applies to potty training. Stock up on the cheapest, plainest value packs so you can gleefully throw them away after yet another accident. Do this secretly though (like when you scoff a chocolate bar) as you don’t want your toddler to think that if they soil their pants they will go in the bin. Make a song and dance about taking your child pant shopping. Let them choose the most garish ones they can find. These prized pants will be your ‘carrot on a stick’ in the dark moments when your toddler gets through the fourth pair of pants in two hours.
4) Willpower and white lies. I went hardcore when I embarked on the potty-training journey. I treated it like quitting smoking. Once the packet (nappies) was finished I resolved to never buy any again. In the early days, however, my girls wore a pull up under their pants when we were travelling. I never referred to it as a nappy. I simply told them they were wearing two pairs of pants. I still behaved as if it was an emergency when they uttered the dreaded phrase “Mummy I need the toilet” and rushed them to the loos. I’ve found that travelling with toddlers is less stressful if you can minimise uncontrollable events.
5) Potty prizes for both of you. Keep your eyes on the prize. In the weeks leading up to potty training my girls, I bought little presents when the promotional offers were running and scoured the charity shops. Organise your prizes into two categories – wee and poo. Like an 80s game show, the big prizes are reserved for the important stages and jackpot (poos), especially the first one. The same sorting applies to your prizes. Upon the momentous occasion of the first wee in the potty, I promptly rewarded myself with a triple pack of nail varnishes.
I’ll leave you with the encouraging phrase ‘discomfort is worth the change’. The potty-training phase is a necessary evil, but unlike many other evils, you can conquer it!