The Power of Low Self-Expectations and a Cardboard Box
Young children don’t have a clue about quality control. As soon as you realise this, you’ll feel a deep sense of liberation. You’ll be free of the shackles of guilt over that sub-standard spag bol you served up in a frenzy to the soundtrack of ‘hangry’ screams. As long as the meal is edible, partly nutritious, and not hazardous to health then it’s acceptable. Note the use of the term ‘acceptable’ and not ‘awesome’ or even ‘homemade’. On such dark days (most meal times for me for four years) I’m confident that even if I’d drafted in Annabel Karmel as a private chef, my two fussy darlings would have thrown their offerings on the floor with great disdain. In short, you’re not as bad as you think you are. Unfortunately, this motherhood role comes with ‘no prior experience necessary.’
Get comfortable with sacking off the unnecessary
Once it took me two hours to make a sweet potato and apple puree, and it was forcefully rejected – the cat wore most of it and rolled around on my sofa trying to remove all evidence of said culinary attempts. I grabbed a shop-bought food pouch and instantly felt much better.
Lower your self-expectations
As soon as you release yourself from that Hollywood depiction of a coiffured and polished mum nailing it with everything at all times, you’ll feel better, and most importantly maintain a healthy mindset vital for caring and enjoying your baby/toddler. Remember, at the start you were unqualified in this role – you’re learning on the (24/7) job. Just do your best, laugh whenever possible, and ask for help.
Babies are so unpredictable. Congratulate yourself on completing a task, or even just brushing your hair that day. On days when you’re at the end of your tether about unstarted/unfinished chores, know that it’s ok to give up on them that day. If you struggle with parking the non-essential chores then see the below tips.
Tips for Taking Back Control
Have some time out even if it’s a minute. Have a cuddle with your baby, sing your favourite song, or listen to music – anything that will have a calming effect.
Imagine what a friend or relative would say, or what you would advise another mum in this overwhelming situation.
Write down the essential chores that can’t be left until tomorrow– I guarantee these will be less than five!
If you feel like the walls of your home are closing in, call someone for a chat, or go for a walk. Never underestimate the healing benefits of fresh air.
Lower your self-expectations
As soon as you release yourself from that Hollywood depiction of a coiffured and polished mum nailing it with everything at all times, you’ll feel better, and most importantly maintain a healthy mindset vital for caring and enjoying your baby/toddler. Remember, at the start you were unqualified in this role – you’re learning on the (24/7) job. Just do your best, laugh whenever possible, and ask for help.
Lack of Quality Control
Young children have no benchmark and this is particularly true when toys are on the scene. Spare your money (and nerves) on the all-singing, all-dancing flashing light tunnel complete with animal noises and six languages function. Instead, opt for a cardboard box. A few scissor actions (you) and scribbles (child) later and hey presto the box has transformed into a car, soon-to-adapted-to a rocket, train, boat, anything your little one gleefully shouts. Not only are you saving some cash but you’re also saving the environment the effort of 20,000 years destroying the hard-core plastic. So next time you order a (cardboard) box of wine, you’ll be guilt-free. And that’s what motherhood should be about – lowering self-expectations, because behind every mother’s smile or frown we are all just ‘winging it’.